A central feature of Rambam’s approach to identifying reasons for the commandments is the recognition that they do not represent some form of lofty and sublime ideal. Rather they are to be viewed as a set of rules which God, in His wise understanding of human frailties and predilections, designed so as to guide individuals and societies towards the sort of justice, morality and spiritual goals that humans could ultimately aspire to.
In the post below, Daniel Abraham presents a similar approach to the ritual of Sotah, a set of laws which appears/ed in this week’s parasha (depending where in the world you are reading this!) – and which many have just finished studying as part of the Daf Yomi cycle.
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I think it is important to understand that even in our so called enlightened times today, three or more women are killed by their boyfriends or husbands each day in the US – and domestic violence is also reported to be rising in Israel. One can only imagine how many women were killed by their partners in ancient times. The Sotah ritual involved a man telling his wife that she should not be alone with a specific suspected man, likely because he was concerned that she was being unfaithful with him.
If the wife were subsequently to seclude herself with this man, she was on the one hand showing that she really did not care about the feelings and fears of her husband, while also showing that she didn't mind risking her marriage and/or her life. If two witnesses then saw her seclude herself with this man, she was given two options. She could either agree to divorce her husband and thereby conclude the matter. Alternatively, she could choose to participate in the Sotah ritual to dispel the deep angst of her husband who believed he was being cheated on.
As explained in the Talmud, therefore, the Sotah ritual is not to be seen as an ordeal or trial in which the woman is forced to participate. Furthermore, Rabbi S. R. Hirsch argues that the Sotah ritual is likely to have been conducted “only where a husband wishes to vindicate his wife; he wants her to remain his, if she still is his. This intention is made clear by the fact that he brings her before God for a decision. If he were interested in dissolving the marriage there would be no need for him to take this action since she is already forbidden to him…”.
Thus the message of the Sotah process, as emphasised in rabbinic teachings, focuses on God allowing His name to be erased in the waters in order to bring peace between man and wife – to help repair a troubled marriage which both parties ideally would like to continue.
Having some kind of believable supernatural mechanism to prove whether someone is being unfaithful could definitely offer practical benefits in a society in which men commonly beat and murdered their wives out of jealousy. Recalling the introduction to this post, these laws do not necessarily represent an ideal – but rather they recognise the flawed state of society as it is and seek to guide it towards improved and ultimately moral and spiritual perfection.
In this light, it can be noted that this entire process seems unfair given that men who are unfaithful within their own marriages are not required to drink the bitter waters. That said, if a male had relations with any married female, and that married female drank the bitter waters at any later point in her life this paramour would die if she ever drank the bitter waters (Sotah 47b). The paramour had no control over whether this woman would ever choose to drink the waters, and would therefore have to live his life in fear that she could drink them at any time.
It's also important to fully appreciate the realities of the Ancient Near Eastern societies in which the Torah was transmitted and initially observed. In such ancient patriarchal societies (and for the vast majority of world history), women married young, were largely uneducated, were entirely dependent on their husbands, faced violence and rape on a regular basis and in many eras couldn't leave the house safely without a male protecting them. This meant that they often had a relationship with their husbands that more resembled a child to a parent than a man and wife who were educated equals. What's more, there was a necessity in ancient times to allow men to marry multiple wives, if only due to the fact that war could wipe out half the male population, thus leaving half the women of the time without the ability to have children or attain the benefits and protections that were afforded to married women. And again, men held so much power in their relationships, that even if a woman warned a husband about infidelity, she would not have been in a position to enforce any disciplinary measures against her “protector”.
The laws of Sotah must be seen therefore within the realities of the societies which have persisted for most of human history (and to a some extent may still bear relevance today). Societies in which male violence disempowered and limited the true potential of women. The laws of the Torah often had to work within the deeply entrenched flaws of society in the hopes of limiting the scope of evils and injustices that permeated the ancient world by providing imperfect but workable solutions to impossible situations which had no real good answers.
The Torah's unique quality was that it gave basic guidelines that it hoped would be implemented by the Sanhedrin to the wider society as time passed. Do justice. Do not wrong the stranger. Do not covet. Love your neighbor as yourself. Those teachings were the underlying foundation of Judaism which slowly overtime helped shape and evolve the religion into a more civilized and just society.
Using those very principles, rabbis forbade things that were once permitted (such as cancelation of a divorce) and passed various Takanot (such as Ketubah and its accompanying rules) to try to make society more fair and equal. The Sotah ritual itself was suspended a generation before the Mikdash was destroyed. Even within the subsequent limitations of exile, in which we lack any form of binding Sanhedrin-type court, edicts of Rabbeinu Gershom sought to prohibit practices such as polygamy and divorcing a woman without her consent. We anticipate that a future Sanhedrin will have a busy agenda when it first sits to consider the extent to which it is empowered to continue pursuing these goals.
First posted on Facebook 28 May 2023, here.
