“Shmuli – take me to toilet NOW!”
It was Chaim. A mentally and physically disabled resident of the area who used to join our Yeshiva activities from time to time. He particularly enjoyed the Yom Kippur service and was always made a big fuss of. I frantically scoured the room for members of his family or other people who sometimes assisted him before realising that there was no other option. As I helped Chaim slowly up the stairs and to the lavatory, I realised that my Ne’ilah was over. The heartfelt cries of “Shema Yisrael…Hashem hu Ha’Elokim” followed us up the stairs and crept into the heavily-overused bathroom – taunting me as I stood there helplessly, unable to participate
I was silently fuming. After an entire day of fasting and concentration I felt I had been cheated of my sacred spiritual moment – the climax of my religious year.
This episode took place close to 20 years ago. Approximately seven years ago I undertook to start studying Nach – the books of the Prophets – properly. Not just the dramatic storylines of Samson and Solomon, but to try to discern the profound religious messages and teachings that the prophets had confronted the Jewish people with thousands of years ago. This process turned my Judaism upside-down in several ways.
Most significantly, it opened my eyes to perhaps the most fundamental prophetic teaching – one that had actually been hand-picked by the sages in several Haftarot but that, as a yeshiva bochur I had paid scant attention to. Yes, my Yeshiva had always encouraged us to perform acts of kindness. But I had always viewed this as a matter of necessary compromise rather than a key religious activity. Soon after I noticed that the Yom Kippur Haftarah contained the powerful chastisement:
“Can such be the fast I choose, a day when man merely afflicts himself? Can it be merely bowing one’s head like a bulrush and spreading sackcloth and ashes? Do you call this a fast day of favour to God? Surely this is the fast I choose: To break open the shackles of wickedness, to undo the bonds of injustice, and to let the oppressed go free, and annul all perversion. Surely you should break your bread for the hungry, and bring the moaning poor to your home; when you see a naked person clothe him; and do not hide yourself from your kin.” [Isaiah 58:5-7]
It suddenly dawned on me that in that Ne’ilah many years ago, far from having been cheated of a sacred spiritual moment, God had actually been handing me one on a silver platter. I was once again silently fuming on Yom Kippur, but the target of my anger was now very different. I had been through over ten years of standard Jewish education followed by several years of traditional Yeshiva study. Yet it was left for me alone to discover and internalise the key message of the biblical prophets. Year after year school teachers had revised the precise details of the five afflictions of Yom Kippur; until which knuckle on our fingers we could wash. Graphically depicted the waving of chickens round our heads and emphasised the crucial importance of praying with fervour and teshuvah. But never once had I heard the message of this Haftarah – which the sages had clearly intended to associate strongly with Yom Kippur.
To an extent this new awareness and perspective permeated several chapters of Judaism Reclaimed which I had started writing at that time. I promised myself that, if I would ever be in a position to teach others about Yom Kippur, this is something I would seek to rectify. If there are any teachers or Jewish educators reading this ahead of Yom Kippur, this is a message that you should strongly consider sharing and spreading. Focusing Yom Kippur – and Judaism in general – back onto empathising and helping those less fortunate than ourselves should not be seen as a modern day “liberal social justice” ideology. It is a core and inalienable pillar of Judaism which is tragically under-emphasised in today’s Jewish education system.
Wishing all readers a g’mar chatimah tova. And asking forgiveness for anything I have written which has caused offense or upset.
Shmuli
First posted on Facebook 12 September 2021, here.
